Friday, March 4, 2011

The Will Weekly #6!

I started bolding everything that applied to us/Will but then I realized almost everything was in bold! A lot of these apply to every breed but I might be a little biased..


You Might Be a Lab Owner if...
  • You regularly clean out 50 tennis balls from under the couch.
  • All of your trash cans are bungy-corded.
  • You have a BIG supply of bungy cords and baby gates for all lab occasions.
  • Every piece of clothing you own, the sofa, the bed and anything soft has lab fur all over it.
  • You regularly find big paw prints on your kitchen counter.
  • Every squeaky and fleece toy are missing their squeakers and stuffing.
  • You have broken or mangled at least one finger (or toe) because of your rambunctious lab.

  • You have to buy a bigger bed to accommodate the new lab.
  • You have to buy an extra pillow to accommodate the new lab.
  • Your floor is covered with dog drool and/or pools of water from sloppy drinking labs.
  • You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.
  • Your dogs eat only the most nutritionally sound food, while your favorite meal is mac'n cheese.
  • You wait until the last minute to get dressed to avoid your lab's paw prints, drool and fur.
  • You have every land and water retrieval toy known to man (and lab).
  • Your yard is full of brightly colored Frisbee pieces.
  • You buy socks more often than the average person to replace what your labby has eaten.
  • You hate to go to the grocery store for people food, but when the dog treats are gone, off you go with no hesitation, even at the busiest time.
  • You NEVER have dirty mouths and faces.
  • You can never find a full set of shoes, because your labby has moved them all over the house.
  • You clean out your fish pond for the season, and the first thing you dredge up is a black Kong!!!
  • Every time you take a shower, your labby joins you!
  • Your car is covered with sheets, lab fur, lab drool, and there is often a distinct aroma of "wet lab" that those car air fresheners can't disguise!
  • Your alarm clock is a firm nudge by a wet labby nose (who wants to eat first and go out later!).
  • While proudly showing off your family album, your guest asks, "Isn't there anyone else in your family besides the dog?"
  • Your mailbox is overflowing with dog catalogs, and the UPS man knows your house from bringing all the boxes of dog goodies ordered from the catalogs!
  • Your dog’s name is on birthday and holiday cards that you send out and receive.
  • You regularly find your labby's "hidden treasures" buried under the sofa cushions, bed pillows, the couch and behind the TV!
  • Your dogs have their own Christmas card and gift list -- and they receive cards and gifts in return.
  • Your backyard looks similar to an archaeological dig, complete with the dinosaur bones.
  • The guardians of your dogs will receive a larger amount of insurance policy money than will all other members of your family, combined.
  • You have a child-proof lock on your fridge, because not only can your lab open it, but takes the best leftovers for himself!
  • More than half your grocery money goes to dog food and treats.
  • You have permanent bruises on your legs at exactly the height of your lab's tail!
  • You can hold a leash, an umbrella and a cup of coffee while answering a cell phone.
  • Your husband and you sit on the floor to watch TV because one lab is sprawled out full length on the couch, another on the love seat and one lab is sitting in the recliner!
  • You are the only people who stand outside in -35 degree weather to throw a dummy for a dummy-obsessed lab with snow up to your butt (or 100 degree weather so they can swim all day and all night)!
  • You are the only person who has dummies in their dish drainer with clean dishes!
  • Your furniture is the latest fashion statement in sheets and dog hair!
  • Whenever you reach into a pocket you pull out a poop bag regardless of what you were actually looking for.
  • You don't even think about throwing away that favorite toy that they have destroyed while they are looking, unless you are prepared for the "staredown"!
  • You put all of your shoes, remote controls, hats, gloves and anything else small in closets or on shelves to hide them from "Jaws"!
  • You specifically buy organic baby carrots at the store for your new favorite snack and his too!
  • At least one load of laundry a week is your lab's: his blankets, pillow cases, towels, and of course, all those muddy, drooled-on fleece toys he loves so much!
  • Your Christmas tree has an "ornament-free wag zone."
  • You regularly clean his tennis balls in your dish washer.
  • You can never throw anything away, because your lab RETRIEVES it.
  • Your labs do the pre-wash cycle, instead of the dishwasher, saving on your electric bill.
  • It takes an entirely separate garbage can to handle the poop.
  • The couch you placed in front of your living room window can't accommodate the human household members, because the lab has commandeered it for keeping updated on outside activities.
  • You need an SUV to take your lab and his labby friends for frequent trips to the lake/river/ocean.
  • All wires and cables are tacked to your walls and ceilings rather than the floors!
  • No matter how hard you try, you can't paint or cook without fur included.
  • You give him his bag of new toys in the car on the way home from the pet store, and all he wants is the crumbs from the biscuits given to him by the cashier!
  • You step out of the shower and never have to dry your legs below the knee.
  • You come home and find a warm spot on the sofa or bed, even when they know it's a lab-free zone.
  • You put more effort into preparing your labs meals than you do your own.
  • You have difficulty putting your shoes/nylons/socks on, because of "help".
  • You can only remember people by associating them with their dog.
  • You never have a neatly stacked woodpile, because your lab keeps retrieving the logs!
  • You find fur inside your nylons, including the new pair you just bought from the store.
  • Your gate is bungy-corded to prevent your lab from popping the latch again.
  • Your labby continues to bring you tennis balls to throw, even when you are on the toilet.
  • The whereabouts of all your important legal and personal documents escapes you, yet you know precisely where to locate the file that includes all the vet records, breed papers and registration
  • You find lab slime in the birdbath and birdseed in the land mines during poop patrol.
  • Your cookie jar has never seen the likes of people cookies.
  • You need less covers in the winter because your labs keep you warm in bed.
  • The windows in your house and car are all adorned in art by lab drool and lab noses.

Thanks to Top Dog Blog!

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